Who Am I?


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            Every person is unique and one of a kind. As God’s creations, we are endowed with certain characteristics that make us somehow compatible but truly distinct from one another. In our lives, we meet people with different personalities. Some of them may be well- matched to us; some may have contrasting personalities. In addition, others may judge us according to their own perception and in the behavior that we exhibit. Moreover, many theories were formulated and proposed by many scholars with regard to one’s behavior and mental processes. However, those theories have flaws and may not completely define us as ourselves. We know ourselves better than others. So now, in this paper, let me share to you WHO REALLY I AM.

            I am the fifth child of a couple who, for 12 long years, wished to have a son. I have six siblings and all of them are girls. Maybe that’s the cause why I became a bit feminine in behaving. When I was a child, my sisters dressed me up as if they were playing a doll. I could bring to mind the subsequent events— my father would beat me hardly and my eyes would water. In school, I was always teased by my school mates. The upper-class men used to bully me. All these continued not until I learned to turn the tables. From a diffident boy, I projected an arrogant personality to deceive others that I am invulnerable. That was my defense mechanism. I became so used to it that until now, I have assumed that personality. Before, I rarely speak. Now, my teachers describe me as an accomplished speaker and I have acquired the capability to relate with other people. I am a skeptical type of person. Don’t expect to convince me with your premature statements.  I am not close to my mother. It’s because she entrusted me to the care of our helper who has been staying with us for about 26 years now. I neither kiss nor hug my biological mother for I feel that it would be an awkward scene. And if she wants to hug/ kiss me, why doesn’t she take the first move? I guess I got a sharp point on that one.

            When it comes to emotional competency, I have the definite strength in being discerned of my emotions. However, I can hardly manage my emotions. It’s because I have already encountered a lot of pressing problems since my childhood. Those problems that others perceive as too challenging are usually common to me. I could vividly recall those instances when I would ask my parents to buy me school supplies. With pallor on my face, I would hear them declining my request. Then on, with my meager allowance, I learned to be independent. I learned that no one could help me most except myself. That is the ultimate reason why my self- motivation strengthened. I realized that if I would depreciate myself, I would degrade deeper. So, I continually motivate myself, thinking of all the inspirations that may augment me in accomplishing my dreams. On the other hand, my emotional weakness is coaching others’ emotions. I lack empathy— the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another. Whenever somebody is sharing to me his/her feelings and sentiments, I listen open-heartedly. However, I neither have the counseling skills nor am I moved by his/her story. I find it intricate to sympathize with other people. I find it difficult to express my good emotions. Contrastingly, I find it easy to discharge negative emotions. Also, my emotions come in extremes— too happy, too angry, and too sad, etc.

            I strongly believe in the saying, “Children learn by what they live.” I am a pessimistic type of person. I usually look at the negative perspective of things. This attitude of mine is greatly influenced by my mother. Whenever I would represent our school in academic competitions, she would often say, “You can’t do it.”Whenever she would release destructive criticisms, I always tell myself not to emulate her but unconsciously, I begin to be like her. The more I strive to escape, the more likely I get caught by her negativity. But her gibes only made me more determined. As of now, I am trying my best to eradicate this pessimism that has overwhelmed my being for I know that it would make me no profit.

            Howard Garner’s theory describes me as number (logically/mathematically) smart, self (interpersonally) smart, and word (linguistically) smart. Unlike the results of my other classmates, I had myself assessed in two websites and, to my surprise, the same results popped out of the monitor. According to one website, being number smart, I enjoy exploring how things are related and I like to understand how things work. I like mathematical concepts, puzzles, and manipulative games. I’m a critical thinker. Secondly, being self smart, I like to spend time by myself and try to think things over. I often take in information from another person, mull it over by myself and come back to that person later to discuss it. I like working on projects by my own. Lastly, being strong in my linguistic intelligence, I enjoy saying, hearing, and seeing words. I like telling stories. I am also motivated by books, records, dramas, opportunities for writing. My other intelligences follow in decreasing order of strength: Interpersonal, Musical, Spatial, Body Movement, and Naturalistic. For me, the results are accurate for I could relate to them so well. Ever since elementary, I find Mathematics interesting and easy to solve for it entails analysis and not mere memorization. I like it when my brain seems to halt in contemplation of calculations. Next, with regard to being self smart, I was a loner when I was in school age. Though I mingle with others, I prefer not to be involved in peers. Lastly, I enjoy jumbling words and writing sentences. When I have spare time, I write essays and post them in my blog in WordPress. In high school, I was a Scrabble champ; I also enjoy playing Boggle & Upword among other board games. I’m a huge critic also. I feel that correcting others’ grammar, stress, pronunciation, and intonation is innate to me.

            In a Carl Jung’s approach personality test, my type is E S T J (strength of preferences (%): 1, 12, 44, and 33 respectively). E stands for extraverted, S for sensing, T for thinking, and J for judging. I am a slightly expressed extravert with a slightly expressed sensing personality. I also possess a moderately expressed thinking and a moderately expressed judging personality.

Carl Jung’s test describes me as shown below:

“ESTJs thrive on order and continuity. Being extraverted, their focus involves organization of people, which translate into supervision. ESTJs are joiners. They seek out like-minded companions in clubs, civic groups, churches and other service organizations. The need for belonging is woven into the fiber of SJs. The family likewise is a central focus for ESTJs, and attendance at such events as weddings, funerals and family reunions is obligatory.

Tradition is important to the ESTJ. Holidays, birthdays and other annual celebrations are remembered and observed often religiously by this type. The ESTJ is inclined to seek out his roots, to trace the family heritage back to honored ancestors both for a sense of family respectability and for a sense of security and belonging.

Service, the tangible expression of responsibility, is another key focus for ESTJs. They love to provide and to receive good service. The ESTJ merchant who provides dependable service has done much to enhance his image.

ESTJs have an acute sense of orthodoxy. Much of their evaluation of persons and activities reflects their strong sense of what is “normal” and what isn’t. ESTJ humor is frequently centered on something or someone being off center or behaving abnormally.

ESTJs promote the work of ethic. Power, position and prestige should be worked for and earned. Laziness is viewed with neither ambivalence nor benevolence by this type.

The ESTJ is outspoken, a person with principles, which are readily expressed. The ESTJ is not afraid to stand up for what he believes is right even in the face of overwhelming odds. ESTJs are able to make the tough calls.  ESTJs are good at making impersonal decisions quickly, and standing by those decisions.”

Additionally, my temperament says that I am a choleric (ambitious and leader-like) type of person. I am a GUARDIAN, specifically a SUPERVISOR.

            As a supervisor, I rise to positions of responsibility in school, taking an outspoken leadership role. I like to take charge of groups and I am comfortable issuing orders. Because I am cooperative with my own superiors, I command cooperation from the people working under me. The term I used is not demand but command. Being the class mayor of BABA1A, at first, I underwent difficulties. It’s because most of my classmates are also student leaders and we have different principles. Using the contingency approach, I learned to change my leadership styles, depending on the situation. But most of my time, my traits as a supervisor radiate. Rank, for me, has its obligations, but it also has its privileges.

I am good at making schedules, agendas, inventories, and so on, and I prefer tried and true ways of doing things over speculation and experimentation. I keep my feet firmly on the ground and would like those under my supervision to do the same. I find it an ordinary task to evaluate others and tend to judge how a person is doing in terms of his or her compliance with, and respect for, schedules and procedures.

I am unbelievably hard-working, especially when it comes to leading the group and in my studies. To quote from the website: “In school, supervisors are often model students, dutifully following directions, doing all their homework, doing it thoroughly, and on time. Above all else, they wish to do what they are supposed to do, and they rarely question the teacher’s assignments, method of instruction, standards, or authority. And their industry and perseverance only become more important to them as they grow into adulthood and take on the responsibilities of job and family. Social gatherings and ceremonies have great meaning for them, and they look forward to holiday parties, club dances, weddings, class reunions, awards banquets, and the like. In social situations, Supervisors are friendly and talk easily with others. Though they can seem a bit formal in their manners, Supervisors are pretty easy to get to know. At ease in polite company, they tend not to confuse people by sending double messages or putting on airs-what they seem to be, they are.”

            In relation to the reality, the description of the website is the REAL me. I always adhere to the rules and policies because I wanted to become a lawyer. Next, the sentence: Though they can seem a bit formal in their manners, Supervisors are pretty easy to get to know is really true. With emphasis to the statement that I like social gatherings, I would like to affirm it. My attendance in our annual reunion is an A+. I also like to participate in weddings. When I was small, I always get involved as the ring bearer. Last October, I was a liturgical reader in my sister’s wedding.  However, as of now, I haven’t gone to clubs to party because I put concentration on my piling school works.

            Generally, I am who I am. My personality may not be perfect, but I strive to construct firm foundations of friendly relationships with a lot of people. In ending this paper, I would like to share with you a poem I authored which literally expresses the unifying theme that although I have an outward aspect of a domineering and difficult to endure person, I also break down in tears in situations that only I can understand. The title of which is DECEPTION.

                “I appear strong yet I am fragile within

            I seem to be hard but I am easy to be pounded

            One touch of yours and everything settles in

            These are all products of my parents’ upbringing

                        My being is easy to be surpassed and grinded

                        STVENSON is VINCIBLE.”

 

           

            

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